Something I will always remember about my childhood is waking up on a Spring morning and seeing the beautiful pink blossoms from our cherry tree dancing outside my bedroom window. I absolutely loved that tree through all the seasons of the year, but Springtime was truly the most magical.

When we eventually settle into the home we will raise our family in, I want to plant one by the house so my kids will have the same memories I do.

Isn't it beautiful?

Total Honesty, So Brace Yourself

I haven't been much for blogging lately because the things that consume my mind were not really issues I was ready to talk about. I've been struggling so much emotionally and mentally with my body image and overall mood. A year or so ago I was on a low dose of Lexapro which made me feel so much better and much less moody and anxious, but as a result I put on 15 pounds. Jason and I always said that we would want to have a good 5 years together before we started trying to have a family and so last fall I made it my goal to wean myself off of the different medications I was taking like the Lexapro and birth control so I would be in a healthier place. But not long after came this rush of emotional heaviness once again combined with the extra weight and some horrible acne (like 13 year old puberty acne). After a rough few months and a blood test I was finally diagnosed this week with PCOS, which also explains some of the weight gain, the acne and depression I've been dealing with. Of course my doctors immediate response is to put me back on more types of medication to control it, which is the last thing I really want to do. So in my spare time I've been trying to research vitamins, supplements and herbs to rebalance my hormones and get me back on track.

Through all of this I have not been the most fun person to be around. And I feel horrible about it too. My poor husband works so hard pulling double duty by working two full time jobs and I feel like whenever he's around me I'm always stressed, grumpy or irritable. He tries so hard to lift my spirits or make me laugh, and sometimes it really helps and for a moment I forget the mountain looming right in front of me. Sometimes I can't help but think that he got the short end of the deal by choosing me, that I'll never be able to be the wife that he deserves. It doesn't help that now that I've caught the baby bug that I'm so much more aware of how my friends continue to easily get pregnant and have child after child moving on with growing their families. And I for some reason can't help but feel like I'm just struggling to feel normal and have my body for once work right for me.

So there's my honesty in all its glory - I don't have some fluffy and fun blog to post about how life is grand and I'm daydreaming about flowers, puppies, drive-ins and long summer days. Moment by moment my cry is that God would meet me, help me to focus on the positive, love my husband deeply, trust fully, be grateful for everything and keep trying.

Vegas Baby!

I've been super pumped thinking about my trip back to Seattle in June for my sister's graduations! I'm so proud of them both for sticking with it and finishing strong! After being in Seattle for a few days, the three of us girls are taking off to celebrate in Vegas for 5 days!! Whohoo!! I've never been and am so excited for it! What better way to celebrate than to stay in luxurious hotels, feast from amazing buffets, sit by a dreamlike pool and sip fruity non-alcoholic drinks with a good book? I honestly could care less about the gambling, I just thought it would be a fun getaway for just us girls! It's been FOR-EV-ER since the three of us have had any sister time.

I booked us the Bella Suite at the Palazzo, which is an all-suite hotel built alongside the Venetian.

The room is breathtaking and has a sunken living room, desk, 40 in. flatscreen tv, and sectional sofa.

The bathroom sounds insanely indulgent with a sunken tub, separate glass shower, a flatscreen(!), double sinks and a little seated vanity for getting ready! (Note to self, bring some LUSH bath bombs with us!)

You can see from the map, we're smack dead in the middle of the action on the strip. (We're located where you see the green dot for the Venetian).

A whole week away in the sun with two of my favorite people!!! Now I have even more motivation to lose some weight!

Drama, Drama, Drama

You ever feel like you have one of those days when it's all you can do to keep it together & stay sane? That's my day. From grouchy bosses to rude receptionists to relationship struggles - holy smokes more than once today I was ready to throw my hands up and wave the white flag. Seriously, when it rains - it pours.

On a happier note - my inlaws were here this last week and I enjoyed every moment with them. Our weather jumped into gorgeous springtime with it being in the 80's and the trees beginning to bud and flowers blossom. We spent time hanging out in downtown Franklin, having yummy dinners out, cooking at home, baking a big ol carrot cake (which turned out divine!), vegging in front of the TV, putting together a puzzle and hanging out with friends! It was a blast and I will miss them - but hopefully seem them again soon!

But until then - tonight I'm looking forward to the comfy couch, my pj's, getting some laundry done, maybe a little tivo and some leftover ham from Easter - yummmm..

Thank God, His mercies are new every morning.

Serenity now

I came across this picture and fell absolutely in love with this kitchen.

Photo by Ashlee Raubach Photography

Isn't it divine? I know there's no way I could have something like this with 2 dogs and hopefully kids someday, but a girl can dream right? How gorgeous are those light blue pendant lights and glass tiled backsplash?

Or how about this kitchen & living room remodel from The Lettered Cottage?

Amazing...and you can see the before pictures from the blog here. You seriously won't believe the talent of this woman, it's insane.